Tuesday, June 24, 2014

CrossFit Competitions Still Give Me Anxiety, and 8 More Things I Learned This Weekend

This weekend, I headed back to lovely Kingman, Arizona for another CrossFit competition held by Kingman CrossFit. They do not disappoint--welcoming crowd and great programming. As was the case the last time I joined them, I left the event Saturday starving, sticky, and having learned so many new things.

1.) Bring your own chalk. 


This kind of chalk:

Liquid Grip by Rogue Fitness

Liquid Grip from Rogue Fitness.  Rub this between your hands, and that stuff isn't going anywhere.  I personally wouldn't rely on this solely, but it comes in handy when the nearest bucket of chalk is across the room laughing at you because you're too far away to use it.

2.) Know when to sprint and when to slow the eff down.


I climb a flight of stairs and I'm ready to take a nap.  So that 1000-meter row this weekend?  For me, slow and steady won the race, with the exception of the last 300 meters, when I moved what I consider fast...which is most people's warm-up.  The 90-second farmer's carry was another story entirely--the perfect time to speed the heck up, even though I still walked slower than an old man with a knee replacement.

3.) Think you're at an unfair disadvantage during a workout? Don't be afraid to speak up -- respectfully.


During the last event, my already-sometimes-humiliating double-unders stunk even worse because I didn't have enough room to do them.  I was either hitting the girls in front of and behind me, or I'd turn the other way and hit nearby equipment. 

I wanted to stop completely and request to go in another heat.  Instead, I kept on attempting to squeeze them in until giving up and standing there like Derpina McDerpinstein until I had the room I needed.  Pinhead, party of one?  Your table is ready. 



4.) The girl next to you doesn't look that strong?  You're an idiot.


She's not taking a break while you're in the middle of your second round.  She's already done.  Move faster, loser.  Why are you watching her anyway?

5.) Get it all on camera.


I finally started doing this, and I'm learning so much about all the things I stink at (and what I'm doing right).  It's not narcissistic.  It's educational.

When I post them on Instagram later on, THAT'S narcissistic. #gainz #crossfit #ilikewatchingmyselfoncamera #whodoesnt

6.) If you're thinking, "It won't be that hard," tee-hee.


That's cute.  Have fun barfing on a cactus later.

7.) They're not kidding when they say that every rep counts. 


Never stop moving.  It doesn't matter what happens.  You could have snot coming out of your nose the entire time (been there!) or your shirt could be halfway off (done that!).  Nobody cares.

That's a lie.  They care.  But you'll care more when you lost by two reps because you were too busy wiping a booger on your shoulder.


8.) Don't be a Bitter Betty when you lose.


This is my second CrossFit competition, and I had my bum handed to me both times.  Badly.  Frustrating?  Yah.  Does it say anything about the effort I put in?  Nope, because I know I did my best, and I know that the people I was up against were better than me, plain and simple--like my new pal Ashley.  She is full of muscles.




You learn a lot when you win.  You learn even more when you lose.  I should know.  I lose frequently.



-- The NoMA





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